In this season of giving thanks, I’ve been reflecting on what I’m grateful for. One thing that’s near the top of my list is that I’m able to downshift into retirement instead of coming to a hard stop. When I turned 65, I made a conscious decision to take this glidepath approach to retirement—which I wrote about in our very first Retirement Voices blog. My intention was to gradually let go of my freelance writing clients, lessening my work commitments over time instead of all at once.
I had no set timetable to begin this “divestiture.” To be honest, until this year I resisted pulling the trigger because I still hadn’t come to terms with stepping away from work (or at least not working as much).
What was the hold-up? Part of it was ego; I liked feeling needed, my services in demand. I also liked having a to-do list—and feeling productive when I ticked things off it. Plus, I liked having accounts receivable, even though I knew that, between Social Security and retirement savings, I had enough to live on without the business income. Then, once the pandemic kicked in, I figured I might as well work since there wasn’t much else to do, right?
In what some might see as a sign that I was meant to downshift, a couple of clients stopped giving me work due to pandemic-related belt-tightening. But I soon realized that I had to take the reins of this transition instead of allowing it to just happen to me. Several things reinforced this awareness.
What finally got me started
First, I took on a big assignment early this year that turned out to be the project from hell. I’d initially turned it down because my gut told me it’d be crazy-making. But the client pleaded and agreed to my request for a different project manager. Plus, I was facing an outsize bill for dental implants and the project fee would more than cover it. So I accepted—and lived to regret how it consumed my life for the better part of five months as the project’s goalposts kept shifting.
I also found myself increasingly contemplating my mortality (and wondering if the stress of the project from hell was going to be the death of me). But there was also the barrage of news about people dying from COVID-19. And turning 67 last June was a stark reminder that there are a helluva lot more birthdays behind me than up ahead. Then, as I was reading through the obituaries in my local newspaper one Sunday (yeah, I do that), I had this slap-upside-the-head realization that I’m going to be among them someday—so why in hell am I continuing to work so damn much instead of enjoying the time I have left on this earth?
Around this same time, Hubs tactfully weighed in that he thought it was time for me to work less and play more—the first time he’d made his preferences known so forthrightly. When someone you love wants to spend more time with you, how (or why) would you say no?
So finally, after at least two years of paying lip service to the idea of downshifting, I began to actually do it. I notified all but two clients over the summer and early fall that I was moving into semi-retirement and wouldn’t be accepting any more work from them. The clients I kept were those whose assignments I enjoy and who appreciate my work—giving me a healthy, manageable way to keep my brain engaged until I’m ready and willing to downshift further.
What I’m learning about downshifting
It’s been an interesting transition so far. I thought I’d have much more unstructured time to simply be—to think, ponder and reflect on what’s next without the pressure of multiple deadlines. But Retirement Voices—writing and promoting this blog, being active on social media, participating in podcasts and virtual meetups, and working with Leslie on our book-to-be—has taken up more time than I anticipated. I am, however, taking Fridays off and trying to function on weekends without a to-do list (it’s not working so far!).
My ego took a bit of a hit as I’ve been reminded of the truth of the adage, “No one is indispensable.” To ensure a smooth transition, I recommended another writer to a couple of longtime clients when I stepped away, and she has stepped in seamlessly. There’s been no gnashing of teeth or rending of garments at my leave-taking. Given how much lighter and freer I feel with fewer client deadlines, however, I can live with that.
Another realization I’ve had is that when you retire all at once, you often go out with a bang—some sort of party or ceremony marks the transition. Not so when you downshift. While I call myself semi-retired these days, it sometimes feels as if my career is coming to a close not with a bang but a whimper (with apologies to T.S. Eliot). Again, though, given how the glidepath approach enables me to ease into retirement at my own pace, I can live with that.
The biggest retirement lesson so far
Perhaps the biggest lesson I’m learning is that retirement really is a process, not a one-and-done event. Many of the women who answered our Retirement Voices questionnaire expressed this same realization, noting that it can take months, if not years, to settle into a post-career life.
In this season of gratitude, I’m thankful that I have the latitude to initiate this process on a timetable I determine. As a result, I’m able to move into retirement the same way I plan to eat our too-big-for-two Thanksgiving turkey: one bite at a time.
And that’s a tasty proposition.
What do you think? What approach to retirement—gradual or all at once—do you think works best—and why? We love comments!
This really resonated with me! I have also been easing into retirement, I was unwilling to just stop, and the slowing down enabled me to figure what I DID want: more time, freedom to work a bit and do it remotely, and still some income (something about not getting a paycheck haunts even with my finances secure?). Learning every day how to do this. Thanks for writing this blog!
Thanks so much for your comments and affirmation, Eileen. You make a great point about how the slowing down really does allow us the time and space to figure out how we want to spend this next phase of our lives–without being suddenly thrust into an all-or-nothing situation. I appreciate you joining the conversation!
One benefit of being thrust in an all or nothing situation is that you find out WHO you really are. It also gives us more time to consider ‘other’ retirement options. Most important, it allows us an opportunity to step away from the regular garden path and live other ways before we get the final curtain call. No slowing down, full speed ahead.
Sounds like you’re a jump-into-the-deep-end kind of guy, Joe! I’m more of a wade-in-gradually type of person–at least when it comes to retirement. Both approaches certainly have their advantages. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective here!
I’m envious of your retirement path, since it was similar to mine before I was “forced” into retirement three years ago (which you eloquently recounted in a former blog–thank you!). Yes, it took me quite some time to come to terms with my “new” life and identity, but that introspection period has given me a better understanding not only of who I already am, but who I want to–and should–be. I certainly don’t miss the deadlines my professional life imposed on me, but I’m chomping at the bit to get involved in more volunteer work, developing new friendships, taking a class or two to hone creative skills…but most will have to wait until we emerge from this pandemic. Luckily, I have become more patient since retirement. I’ll continue to appreciate what I have and am able to do until I can get out there and do more!
I’m wagering that there are a lot of us feeling as you do, Margo–chomping at the bit to start (or resume) our retirement lives in the face of this pandemic. You’re wise to absorb the lessons this downtime can impart–and focusing what you have and CAN do vs. what’s missing right now. Introspection ain’t a bad thing at all! Thanks so much for commenting and sharing your experience.
I, also, took the “glidepath” route. I never heard it called that, but it’s perfect. I am a corporate knowledge worker who was sent home in mid March to work from there (along with about 85% of my company). I had already announced retirement for mid April but also told my employer I was open to a part time position. After the pandemic hit I knew it was the right thing for me. So, since retirement, I have worked every week (yes, every week) between 16 and 25 hours. And it’s fine with me right now. Having the money is nice, though. I also have a self employed cousin and a self employed high school/college friend who are following similar paths to yours.
It sounds like things have worked out ideally for you, Alana. I know some people are ready to simply cut the cord and leap into retirement (mixing metaphors), but you and I aren’t among them! I’m glad that your self-employed cousin and friend are also able to transition at their own pace. It does have its upside. Thank you for commenting!
I can appreciate all your recent experiences while on the glide path to retirement. For me it was a combo of gliding and a hard stop. My gliding period was 4 years. Then the hard stop happened. I, too, had the situation you describe as the project from hell that wore me out. This was followed by a six-month period coaching my sister on negotiating a contract for early retirement from her company. We were celebrating her success when I heard my inner voice comment, “She’s 2 years younger than you. So when are you REALLY going to retire?” I made the commitment right then, and within a few months was there myself.
Everyone’s journey to retirement is so unique–that’s one of the great lessons Retirement Voices is teaching us. There’s no one “right” or “wrong” way to tackle this transition. Sometimes it just takes some of us longer to get there! Thanks for joining the conversation, Teri!
Even though I had the official retirement with the big send-off, I still spent the next 2 years in semi-retirement, doing the consulting path. It was a life event that finally stopped that – a project load from hell (working 40 hours a week again!) unfortunately combined with serious health issue. I stopped all my consulting connections “for a time,” but then never picked them back up. The semi-retirement time did allow me the reflection time, the time to write my book, and time to figure out what I wanted my retirement lifestyle to be. I can definitely attest that it took time to figure all that out and sometimes I think I’m still figuring it all out.
There’s a lot to be said for semi-retirement–and it sounds like you really took advantage of the lighter workload to work things through. It certainly does take time, and even when you reach a place that feels right, life in retirement can continue to evolve–which can be both exciting and frustrating at the same time! Thanks so much for sharing your experience, Pat. It’s great affirmation that this is NOT a one-and-done event!
Thanks for your great article! I am 72 and I just moved to a new community in another part of the state. I thought maybe it was time to pull the plug. I work 20 hours weekly plus have occasional coaching clients. I thought this would be a great time to start meeting folks in my new area. Well….. all is still shut down due to COVID. I decided I might as well continue to work until the world opens up again. I have no idea what I would do with all of that free time.
Thanks for your comment, Lynette! I totally get your decision to work until the world opens up again. Sounds like you’re not working full time, however, so it does give you time to think about what you want to do/how you want to spend your energies when you can get out and about. I’ve heard some people say that the pandemic lockdown is good practice for retirement–but that implies that retirement is staying home and being isolated. My hunch is that this does NOT apply to you–nor to many other women who are transitioning to this stage of life!