In our previous post, Roxanne shared her thoughts about deciding when and how to retire. Now it’s Leslie’s turn to tell you about her very different retirement journey. See if you relate:
I’m a serial retiree. I’ve done it three times.
I started my working years in the mid-1970s, pursuing the career-woman path. Living in Boston, I landed a job in an insurance company, worked full time, went to school in the evenings to earn an MBA, and moved up the ladder to senior management.
But 9½ years in, that path came to an abrupt halt. I met a man whose dream was to sail around the world. Driven by curiosity and learning, I love to say yes to new adventures. So off we went.
Once the sailing adventure (and the relationship) ended, I sought to rejoin the corporate world. My former work associates back in Boston had warned me that I was making a mistake to go cruising, that by leaving I had proved that women weren’t serious about their careers, that I was “no better than women who got pregnant and left their jobs.”
I happily discovered that they were wrong.
Not only did I get another job in the insurance industry after a 6-year hiatus, but I had greater responsibilities and was paid more than if I’d never left. Over the next couple of months I was even featured on a Good Morning America segment and in a Cosmopolitan magazine article about the new trend of “corporate drop-outs.”
Importantly, this experience taught me that I could take a risk—leap into the unknown—and land on my feet. It was a lesson I put to good use when my “real” retirements came along a couple of decades later.
Retirement #1
In 2004 I was living in Rhode Island, working as director of advancement for a university. I was divorced and joined Match.com, met a man and—guess what!—he had a dream to sail around the world. So at age 53 came Retirement #1. I gave a one-month notice, he closed his financial planning business, we sold everything, got married and set off. Another leap out of the working world to pursue a dream.
I truly believed that I was retired for good, even when we came back from cruising, sold the boat, and bought a home in New Hampshire. I volunteered locally, started skiing at age 55 (too late—I didn’t bounce well) and took up photography.
Then came the Great Recession and, like everyone else, my husband and I watched our retirement savings tank. Someone had to earn some money and it was easier for me to find work in our small resort town. I got my real estate license and started selling second homes (for which, surprisingly, there was still a market). End of Retirement #1 and back into the workforce, driven by financial needs.
Retirement #2
Two years later, our finances had rebounded sufficiently and I was tired of buyers’ demands and the long hours. Rather than tail off the business over time, I reassigned all my listings and buyers and left. Retirement #2!
I didn’t have a plan, but it didn’t matter. Taking another leap into the unknown was exciting and welcome. I wanted to spend more time with my camera and unearth my long-unexpressed creativity.
Four terrific years passed—making images, graduating from a one-year residency program in photography in Maine, exhibiting in shows, winning awards. Then I came to a crossroads—pursue photography as a full-time business or cherish it as a hobby? The latter won.
We moved to Maine to be closer to the ocean. I loved our new location, but after a year I felt itchy and unsettled. I wanted to go back to work. End of Retirement #2.
Retirement #3
I got a job in 2015, leading a total organizational restructure for a nonprofit, and dove back in for the next two years. It was grueling, challenging, satisfying work and required many more hours than I’d anticipated. The team I led pulled off the herculean reorganization project and the results were better than planned. I was now 65, exhausted and oh-so done with working for other people. I gave a 3-month notice and in the fall of 2017: Retirement #3!
What next? I had no idea but trusted my process and knew that this leap was once again the right step for me. Two months later, my friend Roxanne and I began talking about retirement and why it’s easy for some people and not for others. We decided to learn more, and the concept for Retirement Voices and our book was born.
Reflections
Some people (like Roxanne) leave their careers by phasing out over time, decreasing their responsibilities in a way that makes sense for them. I used to be envious of “downshifters”—it seems like such a peaceful, reasonable, less-disruptive way to go.
Instead, I’ve repeatedly chosen the hard-stop approach. I’m at work on a Friday, then wake up retired the following Monday. Even when I could have phased out of a job, I chose not to. Lately I’ve been mulling it over—why is this the approach that works best for me?
I realize now that I relish the leap—and that in-between time when I’ve just left the solid footing of a job but haven’t yet landed on the next venture. For me, it’s a time of endless possibilities and few restrictions. Of dreams and hope and freedom. To step into that moment and know that I have absolutely no idea what my life will be like in 6 or 12 months doesn’t create fear—it brings me joy. My history tells me that not only will I land safely but it often turns out better than I anticipate.
Not everyone gets to pick the why, when and how of their retirement. Some are forced out of jobs, or must retire for health reasons or to be a caretaker—and we’ll speak to that in future posts. Roxanne and I are fortunate; we get to choose the approach that resonates for us individually.
She downshifts. I leap—over and over and over.
What about you? If you haven’t yet retired, what approach appeals to you—and why? If you’ve already retired, what approach did you take—and again, why? Please share your thoughts and experience!
Hi Lesley, congratulations to you and Roxanne with the launch of Retirement Voices website! I was like you and went to work on the Friday and was retired by 5pm that day. That was 5 years ago at age 57. The reason was because I wanted to spend time with my husband who was retired plus the work environment was becoming quite difficult with one of my co-workers who was a bully. I thought enough of this and retired. By the following Friday I was beginning to regret my decision. I have always been one to keep busy and my career had probably defined who I was. After 5 years I’m still trying to find a happy balance between taking life at a slower pace and recognising that for me slow all the time doesn’t work. I believe we need to plan and Design our own ‘Signature’ Retirement. Think of what we enjoy and how we want our retirement to be and not what others tell us is right. Life is a ‘not one size fits all’ kind of thing and we have to find our own way. Looking forward to reading more and I’ve subscribed! Have a great weekend. xx
Sue, thanks for your good wishes! As you shared, sometimes it takes a while for each of us to find our own way in retirement. Designing our own “Signature” retirement is a great way to describe it. It is so individual and there is no one right way! We hope to hear more from you in the future. Stay well!
Hi Leslie. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you in person yet, but I’m a big fan of Roxanne and your book on women in retirement
My work history I’ve often likened to the visual of a “club sandwich” with many different layers stacked upon each other. However, taken as a whole has been a wonderful experience.
Similar to you, I’ve chosen different paths with different outcomes depending on life choices.
Retirement from a 20 year banking career occurred when I was 40, getting a divorce , top of the corporate ladder with unmet personal goals. I met a wonderful man, left my career behind , and joined him in buying and operating a retail business
After 4 years of a new marriage and working 24/7 in a small business together during a recession , it was time for me to look for other means of income.
An opportunity came along for me to return to the corporate banking scene, but this time at one of the largest banks with a new position as head of a new division for women business owners. My years toiling in the wilderness as a small business owner were enormously important for my new responsibilities
7 years later I found myself at another crossroads when a series of mergers stifled my growth.
I retired yet again from the corporate scene , or as I like to say I jumped and the net appeared ….as it had before
At this time we also made a move to Cape Cod. Most colleagues said “Oh, you have retired . Why else would you move there ?” Not true. But it was beginning to sound appealing.
There was one more layer to come however. As a consultant I hung out my shingle , and I enjoyed another’ 7 years doing the work I loved with women business owners on a global scale this time.
So I have experienced many intended and unintended retirements along the way.
Which truthfully has made my transition to this life stage even sweeter. Each jump from the known to the unknown built upon the previous experience. Only really appreciated during my true retirements looking back
Thank you both for allowing women our chance to share support and encouragement to other women on this path
Nice to “meet” you, Teri, and thanks for taking the time to share your story. It’s interesting to hear about your different paths and outcomes, and it’s been my experience also that each jump builds upon previous experience and that you don’t see the pattern until much later. Yours is a “club sandwich”, mine a “patchwork quilt”. Both great analogies for our varied careers. We hope to hear from you again here soon!
Nicely done, both of you. That’s definitely the ‘you’ I knew, Leslie, even though that was way before retirement #1. I’m not surprised by anything after you left for the first world cruise. Good luck with getting a publisher.
Thank you, Ann, and it’s so nice to hear from you! Hard to believe how many years have passed since we worked together. We’re hoping that your retirement journey has been happy and fulfilling. Do stay in touch!
I, like you, had a full stop!
I had a very fulling and rewarding teaching career and could not envision retiring until I suddenly decided to retire. After teaching for 34 years, I found that I was spending less time teaching and more on the increasing administrative paperwork. I quickly submitted my request to retire even though I was not sure I was ready to retire.
Then the most interesting thing happened. Once my retirement was granted, I decided I would. I never thought that reaching that decision would be so easy or come so soon. Something that started out slowly as consideration ended up being a sudden decision on my part.
Transition was very short and easy. It’s amazing to learn that once my decision was made, internalized and accepted – the switch flipped – and how easy it was to move on. I never looked back and never second guessed my decision. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
It was also easier and less dramatic/traumatic than everyone wants you to believe. It was far less of an adjustment than I was led to believe. Unlike others, I did not lose my sense of identity. I found that I was the same person I was before retirement. I am the same very self-confident and happy person I always was.
Retirement dramatically changed my life! I am far more relaxed, rested and engaged. I eat better, exercise more, and live a much more active and healthier life, as well as have a lot more time to be with my spouse, family and friends. My relationships are deeper, more genuine and profound. I have more time to be “in” the relationship.
Retirement has also changed my perception of aging and mortality. I now realize that life is precious and short, and that we need to live it to the fullest. The future is much shorter than the past.
Janet, thanks so much for your thoughtful response. It’s so interesting to hear that your transition into retirement was easy and that your life is now so fulfilling. I didn’t know you when you retired, but knowing you now I deeply suspect that your ever-optimistic attitude was (and is) a big contributing factor. Your comments demonstrate once again that we each approach retirement in our own way. Thanks for posting and we hope to hear more from you in the future!